Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Tues, June 15, 2010: Intelligence and Compassion

We've had Kaylee for a little over a week and, now that I've calmed down from the shock of sticking around for the summer, I can't imagine life without her. She has settled down somewhat, at least enough for me to take a good picture of her when she's not sleeping. :)
She continues to amaze B and me with her keen intelligence and sharp memory. After only a week, she has learned how to sit, lay down, come, ignore us (we didn't teach her that one...), and wait. The waiting I have been working on hard with her all week, because a trait of heelers is that they tend to think they're the alpha in the house. Kaylee has learned to wait so that we can enter doors before her, and we have her sit and wait before we give her food.

My favorite thing about seeing her grow so far is watching B's dog Valentine play with her. Valentine is a big dog and far stronger than Kaylee, but she plays with her so gently... aside from the occasional flinging her around to show her who's boss.
I feel like I've seen so much unexpected gentle compassion from Valentine, and she has shown me a sensitive side that I never knew existed in dogs. I was raised as a child to see dogs through a lens of fear, and right now Valentine and Kaylee are working with me to heal that, whether they know it or not. :)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Weds, June 9, 2010: Inspiration

I'm searching for it.

My life has become oddly centered around domestic concerns this summer break, a large part of that being due to a new addition to our pet family:
Kaylee (named after my favorite character in Firefly) is an Australian Cattle Dog ("heeler") mix puppy who we adopted this past Saturday. She is technically "my" dog (I figured that if B already has one, why does he need 2? Now we each have one), but we are both working on training her and teaching her how to be a good puppy.

It's fun having someone in the house who is so ridiculously excited every time she sees me, but it's been difficult feeling glued to the house. She's only 2 months old, so needs to go to the bathroom and be redirected constantly. I feel like my life has turned into me saying "Uhuh" all day when she's into something she's not supposed to be doing.

Some days I have felt so worn down from attending to her needs all day that I can relate on a whole new level to my friends who have had children - not that I think a puppy is equivalent to having a tiny human being to take care of, but I can relate to having my needs and my own entertainment come second. It's getting better as she has become more independent the past couple of days than she was the very first days that we had her. She also sleeps a lot, which is so completely adorable.
She is super smart, as is the way of her breed, and already knows her name, "sit", "come", "down", "uhuh", and is learning "leave it" and "toy". It's a fun adventure having a puppy for the first time in my life and learning how to be patient with her and work with her, and it helps that she is so affectionate and so eager to learn and play. It is difficult as well, since I really feel stuck in the house and can't see how I can have wonderful traveling adventures for the rest of the summer.

I feel horribly sad and disappointed that my life feels so uninspiring to me right now - this is not just because of Kaylee but is a shadow that has fallen over me for some time now, as is evidenced by the lack of blog posts these past few months. I should be flying on cloud 9 right now, should feel more alive and more inspired and more myself than ever, and I want to feel those things but I just don't. I wish that I knew how to fix it, how to find inspiration once again.